Teshuva

         "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven."

                                                                 Ecclesiastes 3:1    

Twenty years ago, in May of 2001, I woke up with a burden in my heart about a dream I had the night before. In it I was standing on a runway getting ready to board a plane. Behind the plane I was to board there was another plane. That plane was engulfed in flames inside and I saw people getting into the plane, their faces reflecting terror and anguish as they made their way inside. Then I looked up at the sky and saw two more airplanes, also engulfed in flames. Then I looked down and found myself in front of a field full of smoke, where an airplane had crashed. Four months later, after taking my kids to school, I came home and went upstairs to watch the news. As the broadcasters began to describe the scene unfolding in NY no one could tell what was happening. As soon as the second tower got assaulted by the airplane and they called it a terrorist attack for the first time, I ran outside like a mad woman, waving my arms and yelling out to my husband, who was on his morning jog, motioning for him to rush home because something terrible had happened. By the time we ran upstairs the pentagon had been hit and the cameras quickly turned to a field in Pennsylvania, where another plan had crashed. That is when my heart sank even deeper, because when I saw the field, I was instantly reminded of the dream I had in May. The picture below is the exact image of what I saw in the dream. 

 

 Seeing this brought chills down my spine. I felt like I had literally been there already and knew what had happened, like it wasn’t news to me because I had already seen it. I didn’t know it at the time, but God had given me a vision of something that was to come, and I honestly didn’t know what to do with it at the time. I remember thinking maybe I shouldn't book a flight anywhere just in case. I thought it was about 'me' since I saw myself getting ready to board a plane. I never imagined that dream had anything to do with a major world even, one that would change America forever. I wasn’t born again until 2002 and until then, I did not have an understanding of many things related to God and how He works in our lives. Once I entered into a relationship with Him, the eyes of my understanding were opened {Ephesians 1:18} However, don’t think you have to be in a relationship with God for Him to communicate with you. I have been having dreams and night-visions and revelations since I was six years old, yet somehow I knew it was God even though I wasn’t born again yet.

       John 10:27

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:”

 God is constantly communicating with us. Sometimes we have a dream that we know means something, but we don’t know what it could be, or maybe we just have a gut feeling about something that we just know we should either do or not do, whether is going somewhere or staying put, or saying something or remaining quiet. God doesn’t surprise anyone, He always lets everyone know everything ahead of time, whether in a vision or dream or by way of a messenger. If we know Him and are known of Him, He is always warning us and He is always giving us direction. It is up to us to listen and obey. If we are not yet in His Will, He is always ‘knocking’ at the door of our heart. It is up to us to let Him in.

Revelation 3:20

“Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.”

 The world is in chaos, and He is not surprised. The world has been in chaos since the beginning. That is why He had a plan, a perfect plan of salvation, that ‘whosoever believes in His only begotten Son will not perish but have everlasting life’ {John 3:16}

 This plan is for everybody, and I mean, everybody, and that includes the terrorist and the enemies of America and especially our own personal enemies. I know, I know. Some people reading this may go ‘what? Is she crazy?’ No, I’m not. And if I’m going to continue calling myself a Christian then I definitely cannot be. Some really horrific things have been recorded in the Bible and yet, God, in His infinite mercy still wanted for the people to repent and turn to Him. Remember, God does not want for anyone to perish!

                                                         Romans 3:23

                “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;”

 Before Paul became one of the greatest Apostles in history, he was one of the greatest persecutors of the faith. Still, God chose him, of all people, to carry His message to the world. He gave Paul, named Saul at the time, a magnificent vision where he not only saw the powerful light of God but also heard His voice calling out to him. This is not an isolated event that happened ‘in the times of Jesus and the Apostles’ Today, there are hundreds if not thousands of people in the Middle East who are, much like Paul, receiving powerful visions from God. That is why persecution is so great there. Because these encounters are causing people to turn from their wicked ways to serve the One, True and Living God!

                                                             Matthew 4:17

     “From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”

The Hebrew word ‘Teshuva’ literally means ‘to turn back or to return’ and it carries the implication of ‘returning to God.’ In English, the word is translated as ‘Repentance.’ While Christians do not celebrate the Jewish Holy Days, the truth is we can all glean a deeper understanding of prophetic cycles and God’s relationship with us, through them. I keep seeing lots of posts on social media from people asking God for help. God, please take away the pandemic. God, please stop the riots. God please…fill in the blank. Yet, what God is waiting for is for people to repent.

                                                       2 Chronicles 7:14

“If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”

 Easy as that. Humble yourself, pray, seek Him, repent. Forgiveness and healing come from doing just that. Not only for ourselves but also for the nations. And God knows this nation needs healing, but healing won’t come until there is repentance. God has been patiently waiting for America to turn from her wicked ways, to stop ‘playing the harlot with many lovers’ – [Jeremiah 3:1], to stop compromising the Truth with error and to stop destroying the work of His hands in the womb (Psalm 139), just to name a few. God is still giving dreams and visions and revelations, even to the unsaved! Pay attention to your dreams and your gut feelings, He may be trying to tell you something! And never underestimate the power of prayer! 

May the Lord open the eyes and the ears of your spirit that you may behold His glory and hear His small, still voice leading you to His Truth.

 

The Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

 

These kids...

“How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that brings good tidings, that publishes peace, that brings good tidings of good, that publishes salvation, that says unto Zion, Your God reins! Isaiah 52:7

My heart is full tonight. As I log into Facebook and once again find new updates of ‘children’ on their way to try their wings. Some on their way, others back home, and even more planning still. So many plans, so many dreams.

Theirs is a purpose in the process of fulfillment.

Oh that more lives would wish for full surrender…and then surrender all their will to live, not for themselves but for the King.

So many claim to be partakers and yet so very few pursuit the real deal!

My heart is full indeed.

I watch these lives, these kids, eagerly anticipating the unknown with the outmost excitement, KNOWING without a shadow of a doubt that THIS is what their faith is all about!

These are the hands. These are the feet. These are the voices.

These are they which rise out of a generation marred by darkness. The candles in the hills. The soldiers volunteering for the front lines of the battlefield of persecution.

These are our kids. The ones who choose to serve, so that others may live.

And when sometimes I imagine what the next few decades may be like, when I think about the utter destruction that evil is imparting in this world, I am grateful! Grateful for the few that seeing the need take to the plow and go to reap the fields.

At an age when most are simply basking in the glow of youthfulness, and all the enjoyments it entails, I’m grateful for the few that choose to go where others only dare to tread.

From life to greater life

Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.      John 12:24   KJV 

 

On November 8 my youngest daughter lost one of her best friends in a tragic accident. His name was Jon Gregoire.

I never met Jon in person, but virtual reality is an amazing thing! If my daughter was home from college and she was talking to any of her friends via Skype or Face time my husband and I would barge in and tease in the background. And much to her chagrin and embarrassment that is how we've met or kept in touch with quite a few of her friends. And that's how I'll remember Jon.

The last time I said hello to him was during a visit to my daughter at Liberty University. She insisted I would speak Spanish to him, since I'm from Puerto Rico, and when I did he laughed out loud and said 'mamacita!' It was the funniest thing and I'll remember it for years to come. Still, I regret he had class and other things to do and never had a chance to meet with us that day.

I never knew Jon in person, and yet I have mourned him deeply. When my husband asked what happened all I could say through tears of grief was 'he called me mamacita, he called me mamacita'. There was no doubt I would be there for my daughter that day. She was broken and so was I. But then again, everyone was. 

I have never met a person so blessed with the ability to reach everyone they meet, and touch them in a positively powerful way, the way Jon was blessed to do. That was a gift. God gifted him with an incredible personality and Jon knew just how to make the best use of that gift. He shared it with every single individual he came into contact with, every single day. Such was the influence Jon had on others, that even after he went home with The Lord, Jon is still winning souls to Christ. And that is why I'm still amazed at the person that he was. Like the still flame that gently glows after the initial fire dies down, Jon's memory continues to shine bright.

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." Matthew 5:16

Four days after his death, the University held a memorial service during their largest, campus wide worship service known as Convocation. That day, Jon's best friend, Josh, shared memories of Jon and gave one of the most moving eulogies I have ever heard. As stills of Jon played on the large screen, Josh reminded us that for those of us who believe in Jesus and have our hope and faith in Him, there is no death. We don't go from life to death but from life to greater life. I love those words. When I heard him say that I remembered what Jesus said in John 12:24

          'Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.'

The only time Jon knew death was when he died to self in order to live in and for Christ. And in doing so, Jon definitely went from life to greater life. In his earthly life Jon honored God in all he did, and brought much increase. But like the corn of wheat that falls to the ground and dies, thus bringing forth much fruit, his death too, has proven to be fruitful. Two days after going home to The Lord, Jon was honored and remembered during a prayer vigil at the university. I remember after it was over, hearing loud cheers and applause in the background. Soon the news had spread that a young man had made a decision for Christ after hearing the testimonies being shared about Jon and the life that he had led because of Christ. The next morning three more people had also accepted The Lord as their savior and that same day more than fifty five individuals had collectively made a decision to trust Jesus for their salvation when the invitation was made during Convocation. All that AFTER Jon had died. Truly, unless the seed falls to the ground and dies, it abides alone, but if it dies it brings forth much fruit!

During the vigil, someone else who knew Jon well, D. Glen Schultz, likened him to a shooting star. How very appropriate, for Jon was wise indeed.

         "And they that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firmament; and they that turn many to righteousness as the stars for ever and ever.'' Daniel 12:3

Jon lived and died for Christ. That was his gain. And in the process he 'birthed' many sons and daughters to the family of God. What an offspring! What a legacy! What a life! It was never about him, it was and continues to be always about God. To Him be the glory!

 

A step in the dark

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.
                                                Psalm 119:105

After a recent weekend of violent storms from Illinois to Virginia and parts of the Carolinas, millions were left without power. For a very short time our home was part of that number too.

It was two o'clock in the morning and I was still awake, nothing unusual for me as I have struggled with insomnia for many years. For an insomniac like me, one of the most boring things that can happen is for the lights go out in the middle of the night because there is really nothing to do, it's too quiet. That night however was amazing! I went to the sunroom and looked out the window which faces a narrow country road surrounded by trees. The lightning was such that it seemed to give a constant light to the back yard making it quite possible to see every detail of the storm. The wind forcing each branch to the ground, the rain coming in sideways from the north, the sky looked like a gray blanket overhead. It was a beautiful sight indeed.

Only problem was finding my way inside the house. One would think it would be easy since I live here, I should know where everything is. But every time I took a step in the dark I would end up hitting myself in some piece of furniture or almost 'walking into the wall'. It seems like it took forever to find the bathroom and my way back to the kitchen to try and find some flashlight or candles. Eventually I gave up and woke my husband up. He got me a couple of flashlights and then I found two yankee candles. So then I had light and a beautiful aroma throughout the house.

I sat back in the sofa and settled with a blanket, a candle in the coffee table and a little booklight to read. It's amazing how much light a little flame gives in the middle of the dark. A soft, mellow glow that seemed to pull everything towards its center. As I sat there my mind began to fill with thoughts of God. How we are to be light in the world, to let our light shine before men that they may see our good works and glorify the Father in heaven. I picked up my bible and started to read and time just went by, ever so peacefully. By now all I could hear was the rolling thunders and a gentle rain passing through. It was beautiful indeed.

I like how God uses everything, anything, any moment, any situation, to communicate His thoughts to us. Truly He is everywhere and if we allow ourselves to experience life through a 'spiritual filter' we can most definitely sense Him. No matter how strong the storm we can still have peace in the midst of it, if we focus on Him. Just like Jesus sleeping on the boat in the middle of a storm while everyone else was losing their minds. No matter how dark our days we can still find our way. In Him we can have light in the dark and be light in the dark.

It's not easy walking in the dark. It doesn't matter how opened our eyes are if there is no light we just can't find our way. It doesn't even matter if we are familiar with the area, if there is no light we just can't make it through. That's how it is when we try to live our lives without God. We try, we think we know know the way, we take a few steps and stumble but we keep at it because we are stubborn and want to do things our way. That night it took getting my toes smacked on the coffee table and my shoulder hit on the wall a few times before I finally gave up and went to get help. It was frustrating and it was getting me nowhere fast. And all it took was a little flame to get me going again. With that little flame I could see enough of everything around me, enough to find my way from one room to another.
There is so much darkness around us and so many lives stumbling because of it. Too many people are trying to live in the dark. They think they have everything under control when in reality they have no idea what they're doing. Proverbs 4:19 says "the way of the wicked is as darkness, they know not at what they stumble" No wonder God called us to be light in this world that we may help others find their way. Everything is manifested in the light. But, as the bible says, everyone that does evil hates light and does not come to the light lest his deeds should be reproved. (John 3:19)

 And only abiding in His word can we shine brighter than the stars in heaven! "But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day" Proverbs 4:17

Truly we can not hide the light that has been given to us. Like the candle that can't be hidden under a bushel but rather placed on a candlestick so that others can benefit from it, we must stand tall as witnesses of Christ, as His ambassadors here on earth, sharing the flame, the glow through His word and His testimony and through our service to Him.

Isaiah 58:6-10 "Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?
⁷ Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?
⁸ Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the Lord shall be thy reward.
⁹ Then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am. If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger, and speaking vanity;
¹⁰ And if thou draw out thy soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness be as the noon day"

Oh that I may seek thee as diligently as you desire me to, that my life reflect your light, as Moses' face shined after spending time with you...In Jesus' precious name I pray. Amen

Undercover Boss

'He was in the world, and the world was made by Him, and the world knew Him not'
                                                                                                    John 1:10

Ever watched that show where the owner of a company goes undercover to its different locations, working in different areas with the very people that work for him, only they don't know who he is? There he is, the big kahuna, dressed down and getting his hands dirty, doing the work of his employees and listening to them and those who benefit from their services, while quietly watching those whom he knows are in positions of leadership.

I remember one episode in particular, where the owner of a franchise refused to use the appropriate signage in his vehicle, eventually claiming they like to change things around and do it their own way. In the end, it was the company owner who made sure this person understood the importance of not only following company rules, but also honoring them because they represented the original design of its founder, so that the image and the service would be the same no matter who ran the franchise.

I guess my favorite part of the show is always the reward that comes in the end, especially because the recipients are totally not expecting it! These people do their jobs day in and day out, many of them thinking that their hard work is going unnoticed, but they have no idea they are being carefully watched. Their efforts make a huge difference where it matters most.

For these owners and CEOs going undercover gives them the best opportunity to see, up close and personal, exactly how things are really being handled by the people they have trusted to carry on what many times is a very personal affair, especially for those whose business has been in the family for generations.

And these are the thoughts that ran through my mind yesterday morning, as I was kneeling before the Lord when I woke up. There I was, thanking Him for His incredible goodness and mercy, thinking how amazing it is to know that He, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, stepped down from His throne, leaving His kingdom to make this His temporary home. There He was, the Light of this world, living among His own creation and yet unnoticed.

When I thought about that I shouted, 'God! You are the Original Undercover Boss!!' I laughed at the thought, in a good way. I laughed because I was amazed at His wisdom and how He, at that very moment, had brought that fact even closer to my human understanding. It was a hearty and happy laugh and I am certain He was laughing with me too.

The thought caused me to ponder upon His life on this earth and I went to the book of John and read from chapter one:

  "All things were made by Him...He was in the world and the world knew Him not..."

There He was, dressed down, getting His hands dirty, doing the work of a servant, quietly watching those in positions of leadership. As one whose business has literally been in the family forever, it was no wonder He would barged into the temple and turn over the tables, admonishing those who had taken advantage of their positions, looking only after their best interest.

God the Father laid down the law, His Son Jesus set the example, and His Holy Spirit always available to bring it to our remembrance. Still there are a great many out there who, much like the franchise owner who didn't follow the rules, don't think twice about changing things around and doing it their own way. And with religion, denominations and doctrines, the original design has been diluted to nothing more than preference.

In the end, however, we have the promise of a fair and honest judgment, and some to chastisement and some to reward.

"For God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble" James 4:6

Redeeming my time

"See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefor be ye not unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is." Ephesians 5:15-17

Wow....talk about a hiatus! When I started this blog, a little over a year ago, I had every intention in the world to post at least once a week. Realizing the feat I was getting myself into I figured, maybe I'll post once a month. That was a year ago. I have one post to show for all my thinking...

I had a wonderful experience last November, and I just knew what my second post would be. I knew I would title it Redeeming The Time and I just knew what it was going to be about. Somwhere between that thought and today, TIME 'got away from me'. Oh I thought about it alright, I just never got around to it. And how many times we do that in life.

Last year I reconnected with my cousin and her mother, family I had not seen in almost 30 years! Thanks to the wonder of facebook, we found each other, and have been literally inseparable since then. I invited them over for Thanksgiving and we had the most wonderful time ever, since our childhood.

TIME. I know we spent time together growing up, I remember seeing them, visiting with them, even living with them. There was a time when we all shared a house that belong to our grandfather. My family lived there, in what used to be a basement that my father later converted to a house. They lived upstairs, in what used to be a garage they converted into a living sort of studio. And between our basement and their garage was our grandfather's house. That was the main house where we all gathered. Then time past, they left, everything got shifted around. And from time to time I got to sleep in a sofa bed my Aunt had in her room....which once was the studio they lived in, which was once a garage.

Then we left and moved to a house of our own. And over the years my cousin and her family would come by every now and then to visit. But for some reason we just never spend enough time to really get to know each other well and keep in touch. I wish we would have. Then again, God works in mysterious ways.

My uncle and his wife are born again Christians. I remember when they would visit us, whether at our grandfather's house we used to share or the new home after we moved, my uncle would always sing hymns to us children. He would always talk to us about God. His wife, a woman of incredible discernment, would do the same, and then, just before leaving, she would lay hands on us and pray in ways very few people know how. They always left an impression on me.It would be many years before I would understand where they were coming from. And even more years before I would be able to see them again.

Then I was born again, and as my journey and my walk with the Lord started here on earth, my uncle was starting his on heaven. He died just as I was being born...and I never got a chance to share that with him. When I was fortunate enough to find, and be found of my cousin, and I was able to finally meet them after so many years, there was so much I needed and wanted to share with them! I had so much in my heart and in my mind. I felt just one meeting wasn't going to be enough. When I finally saw them, my heart was so full with emotion, I thought I was going to fall apart. When I saw my Aunt, my beloved Aunt, my eyes welled with tears and my chest was filled with such love and gratefulness for her.
We sat and we talked and as we shared we found we had so much more in common than family, names and blood. We are bound in love by Christ and it is the most beautiful relationship I could have possibly ever hoped for.

TIME. I had to write about time, because too much time had passed since we had seen each other. Too much time has passed since I have reflected upon so many things so close and dear to me;family, friends, memories.Time. I knew I had to write about it becuase my Aunt is the epitomy of someone who knows how to redeem the time.

It is not everyday one meets a person who, once converted and surrendered to Christ, remains unchanged and unspotted by the people or the circumstances or the world in general around them. Faithful, strong, perseverant and more than anything, humble.

She inspires me because she is the only person I know up close who is the same today as she was when I was a kid. She preaches today with the same passion she did 40 years ago. She prays today with the same faith she did when she first believed, if not more. Her joy has never diminished. Her light only shines brighter. There is no doubt in my mind She has not only redeemed her time but has made the most of it!

It puts me to shame when I think about all the times I have sat in front of a computer, or the TV, or picked up a magazine or complained that there is nothing to do! Time truly is a gift, for there is no time in heaven. God does not live in a time frame. That is why we get so desperate when we don't get things when we want them. Because we live within the confines of time, where as God is free from that, and yet, His timing is always perfect. We just fail to see it.

All in good time, and all good things to those who wait. To those who wait patiently for Him. God gave us time but also wants us to not depend on it, get 'hung up on it', or take it for granted. We are to trust Him, and to make the best use of the time He gives to us. There is a reason He gives us time, so that we may accomplish His purpose.

Looking back at this past year I am ashamed of too many instances of times that have gone wasted. I know I'm not alone. Just two nights ago, as I sat in bed reading the Word, I asked God to help me get back in track, to purge and to prune, to convict, to do whatever needs to get done that I may not wander around wasting time. The very next day the Pastor did a beautiful but unusual thing (for too many Pastors don't do it often enough), he invited several men from the church to the front to stand in line and wait as the congregation stood one by one before them, and they laid hands on us and prayed.

I knew then that as always, God was answering my prayer!

I thought about this blog one year ago. I knew what it would be about. Time. It took some time to finally get here. Ok, it took a long time....but better late than never! I have finally come full circle and now the clock is ticking...But thank God that His mercies are renewed every morning...and a new day shall begin.

"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven..."Ecclesiaster 3:1

God will get you through it

“When thou passest through the waters, I will be with you…” Isaiah 43:2 kjv Ugh..in just a few more days I’ll be doing one of my very least favorite things....I will be leaving my house while it’s still dark and march my way straight into an airplane cabin, and patiently wait for it to lift and for it to land…Is not the waking up at the crack of dawn part that bothers me…is the plunging head first into the ocean part that really gets me. It wasn’t always like that. There was a time…as some would say ‘when I was young and ignorant’, when I would not mind nor care whether I was plunging down on a roller coaster or flying at 39,000 feet above sea level. The thrill overwhelmed me in the most amusing way. Then I grew up. And I realized that a heavy piece of metal has no business pretending to be a bird. I flunk physics. The only part I ever got from it is that whatever goes up…has to somehow come back down. And why is it that I always think mine will be the plane to not land but crash, is beyond me. I suppose fear. Fear of the unexpected. Will I really be brave in a time like that or will I simply lose it with the rest of the crowd? I’d like to think I’ll be the one directing the masses through the emergency exit…but for some reason I think I may be the one leading the crowd in screams instead. One thing is to imagine what one would do at any given time during difficult circumstances, another is actually going through it, and in my case, when that happens that’s when the switch goes off! And usually in a WHOLE different tangent! At least when it comes to flying. Several years ago my family and I were scheduled to fly from Virginia to Florida for a family reunion. I remember constantly checking the weather conditions for a week before our departure date. Everything seemed to be going well, until the night before we left. Lo and behold, there it was, travel conditions for the morning we were supposed to leave. I will never forget that morning. It was cloudy, it was thundering and it was raining as in the days of Noah. And there it was as well…..not a single message from the airline that the flight had been canceled. I figured, well, we’ll get there and if the rain won’t stop they will certainly delay the flight. NOT. Are you kidding? Without running a minute behind the attendant’s voice came through the intercom and before I could turn and find my way back home, boarding had begun. Still cloudy, still thundering and still raining. We found our seats, we settled down, and we waited, and waited and when I tired of waiting I left my seat and went to talk to my husband who was seated a few rows behind. I told him I didn’t think I could do "this", he said ‘do what?’, I said ‘fly…in this weather’. He pretty much told me to zip it and sit down, everything would be just fine. As he is telling me to go relax I eyed a stewardess packing a fridge with sodas. I asked her about the flight, if we were still going. She said,’ apparently so, we’re all here and I don’t see why not’. She asked why and I explained to her that not only did I not care for flying but it would be the first time I would take off during a ‘mini-storm’. So I asked her if leaving in that kind of weather was normally done. I wish I could say her answer was comforting, but it did not help for her to tell me that we would not only be leaving in that kind of weather, she also said I needed to be prepared because it would most definitely be a bumpy ride. I asked her how bumpy is bumpy, and she said ‘honey, let me put it this way, I’ve been flying for a while and we just came from Chicago, and that was the mother of all bumpy rides. I actually did not think we were going to make it. So if you don’t think you can make it, this will be the time to leave.” Gee, thanks! That is ALL I needed to hear. I rushed to my seat and without batting an eye I told my daughters: ‘girls, we have a chance to escape!’ They looked at me as if I was crazy and asked me what happened. I explained to them I was not about to leave in that kind of weather and was going to get out before they took off. I offered them to leave with me while they still could and if not….then bon-voyage! As I said that the man seated in front of us, who had manage to already fall asleep before the airplane even took off, heard the word escape, jumped off his seat and said ‘What??! Are we being hijacked?? Do we need to escape??!! I tried to explain to him everything was ok and I just needed to leave. He looked at me confused, sat back down and, well, went back to sleep, somewhat aggravated I had disturbed his slumber. I guess I didn’t scare him bad enough. I waved goodbye to my husband, who had the most puzzled, annoyed and embarrassed looked on his face, grabbed my purse and my book and marched my way right back to the front of the plane. Confirming my decision was a man seated in first class talking to his wife on the cell phone, hands over his face, telling her, ‘honey, I love you, just want to let you know in case we don’t make it’….See? I wasn’t being unrealistic? After all, I wasn’t the only one. Oh Yeah. That was my ticket out. Right there I knew I needed to leave. As I am nearing the exit door another flight attendant comes to me and asked me where I’m going. I turned around and told her I was leaving. She asked me what was wrong and I explained to her I had never flown in bad weather. I had always taken off in beautiful blue skies, always had ‘smooth sailing in the wind’ not ever knowing the true meaning of turbulence. But as I stood there talking to her I could see by the corner of my eye the heavy drops of rain hitting the aircraft. I had one foot on the plane and another over the threshold that leads back to the boarding lobby. She tries to sooth me saying it’s going to be ok. Then a gentleman in uniform comes out. For a moment there I didn’t know if it was a cop or the pilot. He was drinking coffee and eating a donut. Well, it turns out it was the pilot. Smiling at me telling me to trust him, he’s done this a million times and it’s going to be just fine. Not sure of what exactly I’m going to end up doing I look behind me and much like the actors from Verizon wireless who have a whole network behind them, there I was, with a whole network of all kinds of security people standing right behind me, just in case I ‘flipped’…..Not realizing just yet the magnitude of my behavior I looked back at the first attendant, clutching my book with my hands and simply tell her, ‘I am terrified’. She looked at my hands, put her hand in my arm and with a gentle squeeze she says to me, ‘Honey, God will get you through it’. As she says that to me I look down and realized that the book I so desperately was holding to with such a grip was none other than my Bible. There I was,standing, tightly clutching my Bible in my hands so hard my knuckles were turning white. My Bible, is the only book I ever travel with. It’s so worn from being held and read the pages are falling off. I had to buy another one just so that I could read the pages I can no longer see on that one. My Bible is my buoy, is the place I go to when I need help staying afloat. If I’m sinking it keeps me up. If I’m lost it helps me find my way. And there I was, holding to it for dear life. I had automatically gone to it and held on to it out of fear, fear of the weather, fear of the turbulence, fear of ending up on a huge body of water not knowing how to swim. Oh yes, I needed that buoy, my lifesaver. My hands had automatically and instinctively reached for the Bible. When the stewardess told me those words, ‘God will get you through it’, it was like a switch had gone on. Immediately I was back to my old self. It was like I awoke, my eyes opened and I could not beliee what I had just done! I held an entire aircraft full of passengers and crew, for about ten whole minutes on account of being afraid! But being reminded that God will get me through it I felt a weight lifted off of me. I looked at her, apologized and said, ‘yes He will’, and like a puppy in trouble, stuck my tail between my legs, hung my head and marched my way right back to where I started. I quietly sat down, the girls asked me if I was ok, and I said yes and that there was nothing to be afraid of because God was with us. Is not like I had never flown before, but perspective is everything sometimes. When I was young I enjoyed the thrill, as I grew older I preferred to get it done and over with, but somewhere in between something had changed. My first airplane ride after being born again was laced by rainy clouds the day before we left. On my way back home from dropping the dog at the ‘pet hotel’ I remember thinking how I was dreading the fact that I may be flying in bad weather the next day. But as I looked at the cloudy sky I couldn’t help but notice a small rainbow picking through. I focused on that instead and all of a sudden the fear was gone. I remembered God’s promise to Noah and I knew everything would be ok. So why be afraid now? What had changed? ‘I still have faith in God’ I thought to myself. What could possibly be so different now compared to seven or eight years ago? Well, everything happens for a reason. I needed to be fully aware of the storm so I could somehow be fully reminded that, no matter what, God is still in control. It was a lesson in trust. Sometimes God wants to tell us something but our attention is so diverted elsewhere that He has to put us in a place so isolated from any opportunity to run away that the only thing we can truly do is listen. I needed to go through the storm so that God could show me that even when I know something is wrong He can still get me through it, safely. I needed to be reminded that while the disciples ‘flipped’ during the storm, Jesus slept soundly. Little did I know then, but I was about to enter one of the most turbulent periods in my life as a Christian. And God knew that. Unbeknownst to me, He was preparing me, even in that flight, for what was to come. There was a storm approaching and there was nothing I could do to get away from it. He needed me to know, that no matter how strong the wind or heavy the rain, I was going to make it through. And He did. God is faithful, and all He asked of me was to trust Him. As we traveled that day I kept asking my daughters what was wrong with them. They looked so anxious! Gee I wonder why? He He, easier said than done right? Well, as it turns out, it was the mother of all bumpy rides, and everyone in the plane felt it, except for me. When we landed my daughters told me how happy they felt we were finally there then they asked me what I thought….I told them it was the most peaceful ride I had ever had in my life. I didn’t feel a thing. Sure it was thundering and raining and windy, but I can honestly say I did not sense the first sign of turbulence. I was afraid of the unexpected, and how many times we try to run away from that, not realizing there is a plethora of blessings waiting for us on the other side of what is unknown to us. But life is unexpected. We can plan, we can strategize and follow statistics to come up with an idea of what to expect in life, whether is work, school, home, relationships, anything, but the truth is unless all that planning is aligned with God’s will and His purpose, ours are just that, plans. It’s about control, knowing what to expect and how to react to it and handle it, it’s all about control so we don’t have to deal with ‘the unexpected.’ “Boast not thyself of tomorrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth.” Proverbs 27:1 But we are not in control, God is. And so, when the storm of my life approached, bringing with it the rain and the thunder and the winds of pain and disappointments and of trials and tribulation, God still in control, saw me through it. And He can do the same for you. “O Lord open thou my lips, and my mouth shall show forth thy praise.” Psalm 51:15