Redeeming my time

"See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefor be ye not unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is." Ephesians 5:15-17

Wow....talk about a hiatus! When I started this blog, a little over a year ago, I had every intention in the world to post at least once a week. Realizing the feat I was getting myself into I figured, maybe I'll post once a month. That was a year ago. I have one post to show for all my thinking...

I had a wonderful experience last November, and I just knew what my second post would be. I knew I would title it Redeeming The Time and I just knew what it was going to be about. Somwhere between that thought and today, TIME 'got away from me'. Oh I thought about it alright, I just never got around to it. And how many times we do that in life.

Last year I reconnected with my cousin and her mother, family I had not seen in almost 30 years! Thanks to the wonder of facebook, we found each other, and have been literally inseparable since then. I invited them over for Thanksgiving and we had the most wonderful time ever, since our childhood.

TIME. I know we spent time together growing up, I remember seeing them, visiting with them, even living with them. There was a time when we all shared a house that belong to our grandfather. My family lived there, in what used to be a basement that my father later converted to a house. They lived upstairs, in what used to be a garage they converted into a living sort of studio. And between our basement and their garage was our grandfather's house. That was the main house where we all gathered. Then time past, they left, everything got shifted around. And from time to time I got to sleep in a sofa bed my Aunt had in her room....which once was the studio they lived in, which was once a garage.

Then we left and moved to a house of our own. And over the years my cousin and her family would come by every now and then to visit. But for some reason we just never spend enough time to really get to know each other well and keep in touch. I wish we would have. Then again, God works in mysterious ways.

My uncle and his wife are born again Christians. I remember when they would visit us, whether at our grandfather's house we used to share or the new home after we moved, my uncle would always sing hymns to us children. He would always talk to us about God. His wife, a woman of incredible discernment, would do the same, and then, just before leaving, she would lay hands on us and pray in ways very few people know how. They always left an impression on me.It would be many years before I would understand where they were coming from. And even more years before I would be able to see them again.

Then I was born again, and as my journey and my walk with the Lord started here on earth, my uncle was starting his on heaven. He died just as I was being born...and I never got a chance to share that with him. When I was fortunate enough to find, and be found of my cousin, and I was able to finally meet them after so many years, there was so much I needed and wanted to share with them! I had so much in my heart and in my mind. I felt just one meeting wasn't going to be enough. When I finally saw them, my heart was so full with emotion, I thought I was going to fall apart. When I saw my Aunt, my beloved Aunt, my eyes welled with tears and my chest was filled with such love and gratefulness for her.
We sat and we talked and as we shared we found we had so much more in common than family, names and blood. We are bound in love by Christ and it is the most beautiful relationship I could have possibly ever hoped for.

TIME. I had to write about time, because too much time had passed since we had seen each other. Too much time has passed since I have reflected upon so many things so close and dear to me;family, friends, memories.Time. I knew I had to write about it becuase my Aunt is the epitomy of someone who knows how to redeem the time.

It is not everyday one meets a person who, once converted and surrendered to Christ, remains unchanged and unspotted by the people or the circumstances or the world in general around them. Faithful, strong, perseverant and more than anything, humble.

She inspires me because she is the only person I know up close who is the same today as she was when I was a kid. She preaches today with the same passion she did 40 years ago. She prays today with the same faith she did when she first believed, if not more. Her joy has never diminished. Her light only shines brighter. There is no doubt in my mind She has not only redeemed her time but has made the most of it!

It puts me to shame when I think about all the times I have sat in front of a computer, or the TV, or picked up a magazine or complained that there is nothing to do! Time truly is a gift, for there is no time in heaven. God does not live in a time frame. That is why we get so desperate when we don't get things when we want them. Because we live within the confines of time, where as God is free from that, and yet, His timing is always perfect. We just fail to see it.

All in good time, and all good things to those who wait. To those who wait patiently for Him. God gave us time but also wants us to not depend on it, get 'hung up on it', or take it for granted. We are to trust Him, and to make the best use of the time He gives to us. There is a reason He gives us time, so that we may accomplish His purpose.

Looking back at this past year I am ashamed of too many instances of times that have gone wasted. I know I'm not alone. Just two nights ago, as I sat in bed reading the Word, I asked God to help me get back in track, to purge and to prune, to convict, to do whatever needs to get done that I may not wander around wasting time. The very next day the Pastor did a beautiful but unusual thing (for too many Pastors don't do it often enough), he invited several men from the church to the front to stand in line and wait as the congregation stood one by one before them, and they laid hands on us and prayed.

I knew then that as always, God was answering my prayer!

I thought about this blog one year ago. I knew what it would be about. Time. It took some time to finally get here. Ok, it took a long time....but better late than never! I have finally come full circle and now the clock is ticking...But thank God that His mercies are renewed every morning...and a new day shall begin.

"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven..."Ecclesiaster 3:1

God will get you through it

“When thou passest through the waters, I will be with you…” Isaiah 43:2 kjv Ugh..in just a few more days I’ll be doing one of my very least favorite things....I will be leaving my house while it’s still dark and march my way straight into an airplane cabin, and patiently wait for it to lift and for it to land…Is not the waking up at the crack of dawn part that bothers me…is the plunging head first into the ocean part that really gets me. It wasn’t always like that. There was a time…as some would say ‘when I was young and ignorant’, when I would not mind nor care whether I was plunging down on a roller coaster or flying at 39,000 feet above sea level. The thrill overwhelmed me in the most amusing way. Then I grew up. And I realized that a heavy piece of metal has no business pretending to be a bird. I flunk physics. The only part I ever got from it is that whatever goes up…has to somehow come back down. And why is it that I always think mine will be the plane to not land but crash, is beyond me. I suppose fear. Fear of the unexpected. Will I really be brave in a time like that or will I simply lose it with the rest of the crowd? I’d like to think I’ll be the one directing the masses through the emergency exit…but for some reason I think I may be the one leading the crowd in screams instead. One thing is to imagine what one would do at any given time during difficult circumstances, another is actually going through it, and in my case, when that happens that’s when the switch goes off! And usually in a WHOLE different tangent! At least when it comes to flying. Several years ago my family and I were scheduled to fly from Virginia to Florida for a family reunion. I remember constantly checking the weather conditions for a week before our departure date. Everything seemed to be going well, until the night before we left. Lo and behold, there it was, travel conditions for the morning we were supposed to leave. I will never forget that morning. It was cloudy, it was thundering and it was raining as in the days of Noah. And there it was as well…..not a single message from the airline that the flight had been canceled. I figured, well, we’ll get there and if the rain won’t stop they will certainly delay the flight. NOT. Are you kidding? Without running a minute behind the attendant’s voice came through the intercom and before I could turn and find my way back home, boarding had begun. Still cloudy, still thundering and still raining. We found our seats, we settled down, and we waited, and waited and when I tired of waiting I left my seat and went to talk to my husband who was seated a few rows behind. I told him I didn’t think I could do "this", he said ‘do what?’, I said ‘fly…in this weather’. He pretty much told me to zip it and sit down, everything would be just fine. As he is telling me to go relax I eyed a stewardess packing a fridge with sodas. I asked her about the flight, if we were still going. She said,’ apparently so, we’re all here and I don’t see why not’. She asked why and I explained to her that not only did I not care for flying but it would be the first time I would take off during a ‘mini-storm’. So I asked her if leaving in that kind of weather was normally done. I wish I could say her answer was comforting, but it did not help for her to tell me that we would not only be leaving in that kind of weather, she also said I needed to be prepared because it would most definitely be a bumpy ride. I asked her how bumpy is bumpy, and she said ‘honey, let me put it this way, I’ve been flying for a while and we just came from Chicago, and that was the mother of all bumpy rides. I actually did not think we were going to make it. So if you don’t think you can make it, this will be the time to leave.” Gee, thanks! That is ALL I needed to hear. I rushed to my seat and without batting an eye I told my daughters: ‘girls, we have a chance to escape!’ They looked at me as if I was crazy and asked me what happened. I explained to them I was not about to leave in that kind of weather and was going to get out before they took off. I offered them to leave with me while they still could and if not….then bon-voyage! As I said that the man seated in front of us, who had manage to already fall asleep before the airplane even took off, heard the word escape, jumped off his seat and said ‘What??! Are we being hijacked?? Do we need to escape??!! I tried to explain to him everything was ok and I just needed to leave. He looked at me confused, sat back down and, well, went back to sleep, somewhat aggravated I had disturbed his slumber. I guess I didn’t scare him bad enough. I waved goodbye to my husband, who had the most puzzled, annoyed and embarrassed looked on his face, grabbed my purse and my book and marched my way right back to the front of the plane. Confirming my decision was a man seated in first class talking to his wife on the cell phone, hands over his face, telling her, ‘honey, I love you, just want to let you know in case we don’t make it’….See? I wasn’t being unrealistic? After all, I wasn’t the only one. Oh Yeah. That was my ticket out. Right there I knew I needed to leave. As I am nearing the exit door another flight attendant comes to me and asked me where I’m going. I turned around and told her I was leaving. She asked me what was wrong and I explained to her I had never flown in bad weather. I had always taken off in beautiful blue skies, always had ‘smooth sailing in the wind’ not ever knowing the true meaning of turbulence. But as I stood there talking to her I could see by the corner of my eye the heavy drops of rain hitting the aircraft. I had one foot on the plane and another over the threshold that leads back to the boarding lobby. She tries to sooth me saying it’s going to be ok. Then a gentleman in uniform comes out. For a moment there I didn’t know if it was a cop or the pilot. He was drinking coffee and eating a donut. Well, it turns out it was the pilot. Smiling at me telling me to trust him, he’s done this a million times and it’s going to be just fine. Not sure of what exactly I’m going to end up doing I look behind me and much like the actors from Verizon wireless who have a whole network behind them, there I was, with a whole network of all kinds of security people standing right behind me, just in case I ‘flipped’…..Not realizing just yet the magnitude of my behavior I looked back at the first attendant, clutching my book with my hands and simply tell her, ‘I am terrified’. She looked at my hands, put her hand in my arm and with a gentle squeeze she says to me, ‘Honey, God will get you through it’. As she says that to me I look down and realized that the book I so desperately was holding to with such a grip was none other than my Bible. There I was,standing, tightly clutching my Bible in my hands so hard my knuckles were turning white. My Bible, is the only book I ever travel with. It’s so worn from being held and read the pages are falling off. I had to buy another one just so that I could read the pages I can no longer see on that one. My Bible is my buoy, is the place I go to when I need help staying afloat. If I’m sinking it keeps me up. If I’m lost it helps me find my way. And there I was, holding to it for dear life. I had automatically gone to it and held on to it out of fear, fear of the weather, fear of the turbulence, fear of ending up on a huge body of water not knowing how to swim. Oh yes, I needed that buoy, my lifesaver. My hands had automatically and instinctively reached for the Bible. When the stewardess told me those words, ‘God will get you through it’, it was like a switch had gone on. Immediately I was back to my old self. It was like I awoke, my eyes opened and I could not beliee what I had just done! I held an entire aircraft full of passengers and crew, for about ten whole minutes on account of being afraid! But being reminded that God will get me through it I felt a weight lifted off of me. I looked at her, apologized and said, ‘yes He will’, and like a puppy in trouble, stuck my tail between my legs, hung my head and marched my way right back to where I started. I quietly sat down, the girls asked me if I was ok, and I said yes and that there was nothing to be afraid of because God was with us. Is not like I had never flown before, but perspective is everything sometimes. When I was young I enjoyed the thrill, as I grew older I preferred to get it done and over with, but somewhere in between something had changed. My first airplane ride after being born again was laced by rainy clouds the day before we left. On my way back home from dropping the dog at the ‘pet hotel’ I remember thinking how I was dreading the fact that I may be flying in bad weather the next day. But as I looked at the cloudy sky I couldn’t help but notice a small rainbow picking through. I focused on that instead and all of a sudden the fear was gone. I remembered God’s promise to Noah and I knew everything would be ok. So why be afraid now? What had changed? ‘I still have faith in God’ I thought to myself. What could possibly be so different now compared to seven or eight years ago? Well, everything happens for a reason. I needed to be fully aware of the storm so I could somehow be fully reminded that, no matter what, God is still in control. It was a lesson in trust. Sometimes God wants to tell us something but our attention is so diverted elsewhere that He has to put us in a place so isolated from any opportunity to run away that the only thing we can truly do is listen. I needed to go through the storm so that God could show me that even when I know something is wrong He can still get me through it, safely. I needed to be reminded that while the disciples ‘flipped’ during the storm, Jesus slept soundly. Little did I know then, but I was about to enter one of the most turbulent periods in my life as a Christian. And God knew that. Unbeknownst to me, He was preparing me, even in that flight, for what was to come. There was a storm approaching and there was nothing I could do to get away from it. He needed me to know, that no matter how strong the wind or heavy the rain, I was going to make it through. And He did. God is faithful, and all He asked of me was to trust Him. As we traveled that day I kept asking my daughters what was wrong with them. They looked so anxious! Gee I wonder why? He He, easier said than done right? Well, as it turns out, it was the mother of all bumpy rides, and everyone in the plane felt it, except for me. When we landed my daughters told me how happy they felt we were finally there then they asked me what I thought….I told them it was the most peaceful ride I had ever had in my life. I didn’t feel a thing. Sure it was thundering and raining and windy, but I can honestly say I did not sense the first sign of turbulence. I was afraid of the unexpected, and how many times we try to run away from that, not realizing there is a plethora of blessings waiting for us on the other side of what is unknown to us. But life is unexpected. We can plan, we can strategize and follow statistics to come up with an idea of what to expect in life, whether is work, school, home, relationships, anything, but the truth is unless all that planning is aligned with God’s will and His purpose, ours are just that, plans. It’s about control, knowing what to expect and how to react to it and handle it, it’s all about control so we don’t have to deal with ‘the unexpected.’ “Boast not thyself of tomorrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth.” Proverbs 27:1 But we are not in control, God is. And so, when the storm of my life approached, bringing with it the rain and the thunder and the winds of pain and disappointments and of trials and tribulation, God still in control, saw me through it. And He can do the same for you. “O Lord open thou my lips, and my mouth shall show forth thy praise.” Psalm 51:15